101 Reasons I Fucking Hate Christmas.

1. Children

2. Your children

3. Mall Santas

4. Bullshit fairy tales / Grown adults lying to their children (Santa / Jesus )

5. Kwanzaa (WTF)

6. Chanukah or Hanukkah or Hanukah or however the fuck you assholes are spelling it this year.

7. A Christmas Story

8. That stupid 'Charlie Brown' movie

9. "Happy Holidays"

10. Presents

11. Not receiving presents

12. Having to pretend to enjoy shitty presents

13. Elves

14. Frosty the fucking snowman

15. The word magic, and everything it stands for

16. Holiday spirit / cheer (make a Jack Daniels joke)

17. Family Newsletters

18. Thank you notes

19. Pretending to give a fuck about those less fortunate than you for precisely two weeks.

20. Christmas trees

21. The fact that everyone wants me to "Have a Merry Christmas"

22. Happiness

23. The fact that there are now two versions of Miracle on 34th Street for me to have to suffer through each year

24. Christians

25. Rampant Consumerism

26. Social Pressure Based Advertising (if you don't get her a gift, she'll leave you)

27. Family

28. The Parents In-law

29. Toys for Tots

30. Every Christmas movie ever made

31. Ungrateful bastards returning their gifts

32. Every Christmas carol ever written

33. The assholes that sing them.

34. This douchebag:   

35. I will be bombarded non-stop with Christmas propaganda starting day after Halloween.

36. Christmas falls exactly 7 days after my birthday

    Not only do I have to endure Christmas every year, I have to suffer people incessantly yammering about it on my birthday.  Your imaginary friend's celebration isn't for another week, so let's try to focus a little.  How do you suppose you'd feel if the only thing  anyone would talk about on the day which celebrates your existence I'm going to speak for every person who has ever suffered the grave misfortune of a birth date which is extremely proximate to Christmas - You can take your 'Birthday slash Christmas' present and blow it out your ass.

37.  Tinsel / Angel hair

38. Christmas lights (never work anyway)

39. Ebenezer Scrooge eventually comes around

40. People bugging me about not liking Christmas

41. Burl Ives (insert picture find dirt)

42. Bing Crosby (ditto)

43.

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